Hmmmmm....

I woke with a new sense of determination and bravado, thinking: "I WILL get my walk/bike ride in this AM and will do 20 mins of weight-training!" Of course, that would be coupled with eating when i was supposed to/ what i was supposed to/ how much i was supposed to...blah, blah, blah...

And this is what i did instead; I slept in a little (not what i was supposed to do), never got to b'fast til 10AM (way later than i was supposed to), had 2 pieces of low-carb toast with cream-cheese, avo, and sliced smoked turkey (with a glass of milk) instead of the 1 I probably should've had, and haven't made it out the door for my walk yet...something i was supposed to do around 8:30 (it's now 11:02)...

Oh, and i weighed 177.6 again today. WTF? I was 175 2 days ago! Well, i guess the blueberry pancakes and sausage i had yesterday, plus missing all of my snacks, and the pizza-for-dinner 2 nights in a row this weekend, plus the Coke and chips i munched a little of - guess it all took it's toll. I should be happy i'm not back at 180!

I still ask myself; am i really serious this time? i'm supposed to be, coz now it's not just a question of losing weight...it's a question of avoiding diabetes. That's something that i, without a doubt, MUST do. Why aren't i taking it more seriously? What has to happen for me to not only intellectually "get it" -- but for me to actively, physically with conviction work myself AWAY from it? It's as if i'm relying on the meds and a few walks and bike rides to do all the work, and that's just dumb.

Dumb.