Tom and me, Dec 2009. I wore this dress to his company Christmas party thinking it was the perfect comfortable holiday dress, which it was...i just had no idea it completely exposed how heavy i was. So much for the theory of wearing things that don't cling, eah?

I told myself i'd never show this picture to anyone, even though Tom looks very handsome here -- because i was too embarrassed and ashamed of how I (!) looked...and we all know; it's all about me, right?

Despite having many pictures taken of me over the years; i'm still not used to seeing this chubby, cherub face...not used to seeing those thick calves, and definitely not used to knowing the world looks at me and sees "overweight, middle-aged woman"...

I'm still working on setting that ego aside, so posted this forbidden picture here...i can't deny it any longer.

This is who i am.

And this is what i look like.